|PSIPOOK | spleen|
On the day that Makka is chosen to perform at the Superbowl, can it be a coincidence that we discover he has an uncanny resemblence to Davros, creator of the Daleks?
Do we need to be told?
Nov. 22, '04
Osama bin Laden endorses Bush
Polls today show that undecided voters are inclining to Bush.
This could mean that Bush, if he wins, will be able to say he is the first and only president to be put into power because of the word of an evildoer.
He will be able to add this accolade to all his others — the first president to not be elected to office, for example.
Meanwhile Tom Ridge has expressed confidence that ObL will not attack on election day. Why is he so confident? Is it because he is pulling ObL's strings?
Oct. 31, 2004
Satan appears to US voters
'I shall smite you a lot,' he said. 'And then I will smite you some more. Just see if I don't,' he added.
The Horned One's sudden appearance on America's TV screens came just milliseconds before the US general erection.
'And I am not just threatening to smite you to scare you into voting for George,' Lucifer was careful to point out. 'Even though our dads are chums'.
Evil Incarnate looked dapper and relaxed as he told viewers, 'And no, there's nothing the least bit odd about me popping up on prime time just before the election to deliver a scary message.This just happens to be my day for popping up with a scary message.'
As for his reasons for smiting lots of Americans, he was not specific. 'It is not because I hate freedom. In fact I have lots of freedom because no one has managed to catch me, and I rather enjoy it. Actually, I am going to smite you, er ... for the usual reasons. You know. Whatever the reason was last time. Because Dick and Carl asked me to.
'So, you can vote for anyone you like, but woe betide you if you get it wrong, because the smiting will be truly awful. Just see if it isn't.'
October 29, 2004
Nothing new on Psipook
"Nothing new has been posted on Psipook since October 16, 1771", said a UN expert inspector person.
"This is because nothing new has been posted on Psipook since October 16, 1771", explained Psipook supremo Psilocybe P Pook.
A man in the street observed that nothing new has been posted on Psipook since October 16, 177, and added, "Not that I give a tinker's."
Ocotover 24, 20000004, World Hangover Day
Happy bithrday for yesterday, Willll.
Witless in Gaza
At the same time, an Israeli officer accused of firing repeatedly into the corpse of a Palestinian girl has been cleared by the army of 'unethical conduct'.
He remains suspended from duty because of problems getting along with colleagues.
October 16, 2004
A database of Iraqi civilian casualties (click). Names to faces ... I hope the supporters of the war feel proud of themselves.And just another quick reminder for those of you who haven't got it yet: no WMD, no al Qaida. Just what did all these people die for? And hands up all those who are going to vote Bush or Blair in the upcoming elections. Hands up all those who think they should be banged up for crimes against humanity ... for that database, click here.
June 25, 2004
Bush Permitted 9/ll
We link here to an article by Michael Meacher, a British politician and former member of the Blair cabinet who has joined some of the dots regarding Bush's deed.
Tessa Hewitt apologises for
Iraq intelligence errors
So those tens of thousands of people died by mistake. Well, that's all right then, at least there was nothing malicious in the killing.
And, thankfully, the oil is safe.
Oct. 08, 2004
Man who used to play banjo brings terror to America
Oct. 3, 2004
What is interesting about this new campaign is the military spokesman coming up with a new instance of calling black white and vice versa.
According to the BBC, the US military said the offensive was in response to what it called "repeated and unprovoked attacks by anti-Iraqi forces" and went on to explain that the assault aimed "to facilitate orderly government processes, kill or capture anti-Iraqi forces, and set the conditions to proceed with infrastructure and quality of life improvements for the people of Samarra".
So the Iraqi resistance to foreign occupation is "anti-Iraqi". How did they figure that one out?
Well, they know well enough what the real situation is, but by twisting language, they hope to obscure the truth.
Well, try this out. If the Iraqi resistance to foreign invasion is anti-Iraqi, then the invading US military must be anti-American.
So the anti-Iraqi forces must be pro-American, and the Americans, being anti-American must be pro-Saddam, pro-al Zarqawi and pro-al Sadr, and Mr. Bush has made it quite clear that if you ain't for us you are against us, so the Iraqi militias are in fact doing the will of the White House in ridding the planet of terrorists.
It's all clear now.
October 1, 2004
Shoot the neighbours
That was sick world feeling number one.
Sick world feeling number two: the BBC, to help its non gun-toting readers along, listed three typical assault weapons — the AK47, the Uzi and something called an AR15, which was described as a civilian version of the military M16.
A civilian version of an M16?
What civilian application can there be of a weapon that fires 1000 rounds per minute, is deadly at ranges over a kilometre and whose bullets can penetrate house walls?
"Then maybe later I'll put up that book shelf in the den."
"Make sure you shoot it after. You know you sometimes forget."
"Hey, how about we get the neighbours round tonight for a cook out?"
"And then we can have a nice shoot out together. Sounds blissy."
"Say, did you feed the dog?"
"No, but I did shoot it."
"Well, that should keep him happy a while."
Guns don't kill people. Idiots with guns kill people.
September 14, 2004
Dry aside: thank God the Olympics are over for another four years.
Fear of cancer.
Complete failure of imagination.
Why does America suddenly
care about Sudan?
A Modest Proposal
Land of the brave and the free tits
Japan's slow rush to
Article by Michael Penn, The University of Kitakyushu, as posted on Doug Carmichael's Roughcut. Click here to see the story in a new window.
More thanks to Jerry Gordon for pointing this
US Govt. is set to reinstate
Global Intelligence Failure
According to the US senate investigation into the case for the Iraq war, there was a "global intelligence failure".
Yes, indeed there was. Lots of people all over the world were stupid enough to believe the bullshit of Bush, Blair and their gang.
Why tyrants rule Arabs
US warplanes bombed English towns and villages yesterday in retaliation for the latest assault on the fox population by hunters.
December 28, 2005
Thousands turn out to defy hunting ban
In a display of public disobedience of a scale not seen since the last rounds of anti-globalisation protests in Argentina and Hong Kong, Britain's rural communities have turned out en masse to defend their right to slaughter small furry animals.
It is well known that the foxes these brave people fearlessly hunt are a massive pest in the countryside.
I grew up in rural Gloucestershire, and saw many a time a fox making off with a whole cow or sheep in its mouth.
At night they would come from their lairs and dig up entire fields just to steal the potatoes. Sprouts, cabbage, carrots, parsnips and purple sprouting were other favourites of these pesky beasts. On Sundays the air was thick with the odour of roast dinners cooked in the foxes' lairs.
They even used to kill the cute little rabbits that were happily munching away in the farmer's fields.
On at least one occasion, a gang of foxes used oxyacetylene cutting equipment and industrial saws to force their way into the local factory farm complex to make off with 5,000 chickens.
My sister was eaten to death by at least one fox.
Of course, hunting is not just about killing things. It is about tradition, a way of life, sherry.
These hunters, these keen defenders of the old way, are also to be found ducking and burning witches, hanging, drawing and quartering petty thieves and starving the peasants through tithes.
Dec. 27, 2005
For a view of progress the conservative way, click here.
Dec. 26, 2005
Bush's faulty intelligence
Dec 15, 2005
The evildoer next door
These are just two tidbits picked up from an article that rounds up 14 of the world's biggest corporate evildoers.
Dec. 14, 2005
Arnie terminates bad guy
Dec. 13, 2005
begins in Osaka
Dec. 4, 2005
Bush sets out strategy for victory
The main points of the plan are:
The plan is a clear depature from the previous plan, which was:
The new plan is expected to restore flagging support for the war among the American public.
Psilocybe P Pook demands: bomb us too, there's
plenty of anti-war sentiment on this site
Nov. 23, '05
America's banned weapons
More than a year after the last battle for Fallujah, the US military has admitted using phosphorous weapons. There may be other nasty secrets yet to come out, including the use of poisonous gas.
At the end of the battle of Fallujah reports of the use of phosphorous, a weapon that is banned from use on humans, came out of the city. The US denied and denied and finally, this week admitted it had used this weapon. The US continued to insist that it had only used it line with international agreements, ie, not targeted at people, yet voices within the military suggested otherwise, backing up the stories on the ground, which had already been given weight by photographic evidence of apparent phosphorous victims — many of whom were civilians.
This is not the first time the US and the UK have been found out for using banned weapons in this war against Iraq's non-existent banned weapons. Both countries first denied then admitted using cluster bombs. The US first denied and then admitted using a form of napalm.
At the end of last year's battle, alongside the stories of phosphorous, there were stories of dead bodies that had no injuries on them. The strong suggestion here is that they were killed by some kind of gas. There were other stories of corpses that were undamaged but which showed signs of bleeding from the eyes.
The US admission of using phosphorous now has to give credibility to the other reports of the use of gas as a weapon.
Nov. 19, 2005
Here is a soothing image to look at while we try to raise the enthusiasm to update the site.
The cat's name is Kukku and he lives in Japan. We see him here keeping the planet spinning on its axis.
It is not well known among humans that cats keep us from careening out of control into the icy outer reaches of space and prevent matter from just plain falling to bits. What humans take to be the idle staring of cats is in fact a deep Zen-like trance that animates the universe. Cats have complex international psychic networks in which individuals take turns to concentrate on the collective task.
To you and me it's staring out the
window looking smug and twitching a tail. In reality it is life itself.
Later. I've got a windowsill to see to.
Scientists discover eating properly is good for
October 29, 2005
Every day, in every way ...
Sept. 29, 05
"I was created by George Bush" — Hurricane
Sept 24, 2005
Jesus was a penguin
"It is very clear that the Lord stood on two legs as a penguin does," said the reverend Fred Fish of Tuxedo, Tennessee, after seeing the film."Christ had two arms, just as the penguin has two flippers. Penguins swim in water, and Christ walked on it. Penguins choose a mate for just one year, and then find another, just as most Americans do. Christmas is white and snowy, just like Antarctica. And penguins lay eggs."
Theologians around the world are scrambling to revise the Holy Trinity, which now goes, "God the Father, God the Son, God the Cute Penguin."
The animation Pingu will now be shown in all public schools in place of science classes.
The penguin documentary comes to us from France, a nation that opposed the war in Iraq.
(For penguin-on-penguin sex video, and kinky man-on-penguin photo, click here)
(Read a rather good poem about God by Evan Hay by clicking here.)
September 18, 2005
Spare a quarter,
pal — it's tough being the world's only superpower
The shops and supermarkets of the nation are stuffed to overflowing with food and necessities, yet the same items are being flown in from foreign donor countries without charge. Unable or unwilling to distribute sufficient aid, the government are providing the hurricane's refugees with $2,000 each of taxpayer's money to spend their way out of their predicament, returning considerable capital to the free market.
We are reminded that not so long ago World Watch calculated that one year's worth of the US's military spending, properly targeted, could end poverty on the planet forever. We are also reminded that the US spends as much on its military as the other top ten spenders combined.And this is the same nation that is going cap in hand to its poorer pals.
Sept 11, 2005
Northern Ireland 1, England 0
Sept. 8, 05
Bush to lead New Orleans inquiry
Noah builds Ark, escapes flood
Sept. 4, 05
I can't be bothered
The statement, which was made in the kitchen today, is thought to be an indication that he can't be bothered.
There has been no comment on the alleged remark from Tory Blair because we couldn't be bothered to ask him, though Henry Kissinger is thought to have said hello to someone or other today.
August 27, 2005
Bush weighs in for intelligent design
August 10, 2005
The individual picked up in Rome has apparently already said that the attacks were inspired by Britain's attack on Iraq. (Read here.)
Blair has been at great pains since the July 7 bombs to deny any connection with his invasion of Iraq. As noted here, Islamic scholars at at least one school in Pakistan linked to the bombers also stated that the attacks were a result of Britain's foreign policy.
Blair, meanwhile, invented a story to explain the bombings of an evil ideology that apparently has no name, no adherents and no existence — a claim that is intellectually on a level withstating the tooth fairy put a quid under your pillow — even though you have photographic evidence that it was your mum put the dosh there.
When the bombers come to trial, they can really show up Blair's fantasies for what they are, by explaining their motivations.
What's the betting that Blair will simply turn round and say that it is the evil ideology making the bombers blame it all on British policies to inconvenience the government and hide their true motives?
July 31, 2005
Evil kebab ideology exposed
It may be a literal truth that a policeman
was standing outside a kebab shop; it may be a literal truth that people
connected to terrorism were arrested in a kebab shop, but I would like
to bet that it is not a literal truth that all people connected with
kebab shops are connected with terrorism. If this were the case, Tory
Blair would be living in a kebab shop — in fact, 10 Downing Street
would be a giant kebab shop, with greater benefit to mankind.
In the photo, the word 'hamburger', the Western
part of the combination is cut off, separated, excised; accentuating
July 28, 2005
Jean Charles de Menezes
Which would you prefer, one suicide bomber shot in the head before he could detonate his bomb or lots of dead people because he had a chance to.
So on the face of it, the Stockwell shooting is just a tragic mistake, one of those mistakes that happen to protect the common good. The police on the day didn't know he wasn't a bomber and because he ran away, they had good reason, however mistaken, to believe he was.
So it goes, and it's all the fault of the terrorists for bombing London in the first place.
This argument works well enough until you think into the particulars of it.
First, according to the news, Jean Charles de Menezes was the subject of police surveillance before he was gunned down. Eye witness reports tell of a large number of plain clothes officers chasing Mr. Menezes, which suggests quite a large surveillance operation.
The police were watching him in the good faith that he was a terrorist subject when even they admit, after the event that he had no connection with terrorism.
This clearly means that they were watching the wrong person, that Mr. Menezes was someone other than the person they thought they were watching. Or, worse that they were expending these resources on watching someone for no reason at all.
In either case this large spying operation failed to establish the simple fact that he was an a electrician and not a terrorist.
After that failure, alarm bells should have started ringing when Mr. Menezes started running when challenged.
Had he been a suicide bomber he would have blown himself up at this point to take as many people with him as possible. What does a suicide bomber have to gain by running? Is he looking for a better target? Well, he has a dozen armed police bearing down on him, what better target is that?
We should make a simple identification guide for the police: a) people with invalid visas run, b) suicide bombers explode.
Of course, we have been energetically looking
for ways of making it Mr. Menezes fault.
Perhaps if he wasn't a terrorist last Friday when they shot him, he would have been by Saturday morning. So that's all right then.
July 26, 2005
London-Iraq link — from the horse's
While only two-thirds of Britons understand the relationship of the atrocity to real world events, the government are faring much worse, with apparently none of them having any grasp on causality. Blair bats on with his inexplicable 'evil ideology' mantra.
Since the bombing, two reports have come out warning that the invasion of Iraq has raised the risk of terror attacks in Britain. One was a report from a think tank, the other was from the UK's own security establishment, a report leaked to the press. (story here)
NHK interviewed some of the people connected with the schools and played a recording of a speech of one the radical Mullahs. The message was very clear: these hard core Muslims were waging a war against the US and UK because of, wait for it, our attacks on both Afghanistan and Iraq and because of US foreign policy. You can't get much more from the horse's mouth than that.
July 19, 2005
London like Baghdad
July 16, 2005
The invasion of Iraq was justified by the country's alleged possession of WMD and its alleged readiness to use them on the West.
More than two years later, without any evidence of WMD in Iraq, the war is now about fighting terrorism. Iraq is the new front line, Bush likes to tell us.
Bush's sad aphasia has struck again. The war was about WMD not terrorism. Terrorism had nothing to do with the rationale for the invasion, but now, without WMD, terrorism has become the sole reason for the war.
Listening to Bush's rhetoric we might like to reflect that before the invasion there was no connection between Iraq and terrorism.
Poor Mr. Bush doesn't seem to know why he went to war.
Bush and his crew tell us that they are fighting terrorism in Iraq so it doesn't come to New York or London — as pointed out in the current Harper's review.
Then how do they explain the London bombs?
The simple fact is that the invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan (not to mention all the other crap policies that have alienated much of the world) has radicalised a large number of people.
The London bombers were British, not Iraqi.
So what now? Does the War on Terror make Leeds the next Fallujah?
July 13, 2005
Following the terror outrage in London, Psipook has obtained an exclusive statement from Prime Minister Tory Blair.
"Let me tell you a story. There once was a chap called Mr. Smith, a fine upstanding fellow in his own shoes.
"There was also a chap called Mr. Aziz, a rather shifty type who wouldn't shave and wore a nightie.
"One day, Mr. Smith walked up to Mr. Aziz and biffed him on the nose.
"Mr. Aziz responded by biffing Mr. Smith on the nose.
"'There, you see', said Mr. Smith, 'that proves what a dangerous person Mr. Aziz is and how right I was to hit him in the first place'."
Here endeth the lesson that shall not be learned.
July 8th, 2005
African aid, raises the dead
He pledged to give Africa double the crumbs off America's table.
He also offered to mobilise Special Forces to scour Washington's litter bins for discarded Freedom Fries and dregs of Freedom Cola to ship to the troubled continent.
The gift has slight but reasonable conditions attached. The aid would only be forthcoming if all the little African boys, and all the little African girls, and all the little African leaders promised to be good in the future.
If they all promised to stop giving succour to international terrorists, give over all their natural resources, and become Christian, white and middle class, boatloads of crumbs would be forthcoming.
In an address to his disciples at Meyer Auditorium at Freer Gallery, He said, "[African leaders] by definition, must play the main role as agents of reform and progress, instead of passive recipients of money. Over the decades, we've learned that without economic and social freedom, without the rule of law and effective, honest government, international aid has little impact or value."
The Lord Bush spoke with confidence, imbued with the belief that he had personally invented the myth that Africa was unable to look after itself.
African leaders are expected to respond that
if America ever acquires honest government, freedom and a respect for
the rule of law they will be happy to accept the crumbs from Bush's table.
Bush raises the dead
During the same press feeding when a couple of filleted and uncooked untruths satisfied thousands of adoring journalists, Jesus, aka President Bush, told the following parable.
"Two years ago, a little girl in Namibia
was born to a mother and father who both had HIV; she had the disease,
as well. The name her parents gave her translates as the phrase, "There
is no good in the world." Months ago, the girl was very sick and
losing weight and close to death. But today, she and her entire family
are receiving lifesaving medicine. Now she's a beautiful, shy, thriving
six-year-old, with a new life ahead of her, and there's a little more
good in the world.
The miracle of resurrection was made all the more remarkable by the fact that US manufacturers of anti AIDS drugs have routinely priced their products out of the reach of the budgets of many African nations, that America is theG8's smallest contributor of aid as a proportion of GNP.
July 1, 2005