Sun. Jul 14th, 2024

British politics was thrown into turmoil today when it emerged that absolutely no one in the country has never taken drugs.

The revelation rules out the entire population from leading a political party or becoming prime minister.

Constitutional experts are examining the possibility of installing a goldfish as prime minister as it seems to be the only creature in the country that has not smoked pot at one time another.

“The Js don’t burn under water, dig?” said a Whitehall spokesperson. “Want a hit on this bong?”

By chris page

Magazine editor, writer of fiction and non-fiction; exile; cat person; red wine for blood and cheese in his soul. Chris Page is the author of the novels Weed, Sanctioned, Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree. He is also a freelance journalist, copywriter, editor, cartoonist, illustrator, graphic designer, and consultant in the use and abuse of false moustaches (don’t wear them — you’re welcome — the invoice is in the mail).

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