Sun. Oct 6th, 2024

The f-word

Fracking. Both candidates fought hard to present themselves as the hostile to the environment. Desperate for the approval of the oil lobby, the SUV drivers, Big Business, and flat earthers, both Harris and Trump tried to outdo each other when it comes to convincing the voters they were worst for the environment in a display reminiscent of a playground squabble. 

‘You said you’d stop fracking in Pennsylvania.’
‘Did not!’
‘Did too!’
‘Did not!’
‘Did too!’
‘Did not!’
‘Did too!’
‘Did not!’
‘Did too!’
‘Look, if I become president, I’m going to actually poop on the environment.’
‘Oh yeah? I’m going to poop on it even more and, and, and fart on it too!’

Which is already what Trump did to America’s Environment Protection Agency when he was actual president. 

Bang bang the kids are dead

Gun control. Again, we saw the candidates scurrying around to dodge this bullet. 

When Trump brought up guns, Harris, who has previously expressed support for limited controls, went into Keanu Reeves-in-Matrix-mode to insist she had never suggested shooting people was bad, while Trump was adamant he had done more than any other president to encourage school massacres. 

Both candidates were adamant that indiscriminate mass murder should continue in the US. 

Bang bang even more kids are dead

Talking of approval for indiscriminate mass murder, both candidates managed to endorse genocide in Gaza and gave their energetic promises to continue it. 

Israel has the right to self-defence even if it means killing tens of thousands of children, women, civilian men who were no threat to it if it guaranteed the support of the slobbering, drooling pro murder and mayhem demographic — the same demographic that rubs itself off with its guns and SUVs to pictures of dead children. And more important, their corporate owners. 

More important still is geopolitics. We want that big, revved up proxy of the US military to help keep the region under America’s heel, though it does seem like Bibi is intent on setting fire to the whole region before America’s ready, but you know, that’s another story and if he does cause hundreds of thousands of deaths, that’s a small price to pay for a White House win.

The end of all things

Those are a few of Psipook’s highlights of the debate, and possibly of a little more consequence than delusions of eating cats and dogs or murdering infants in post-natal abortions. 

Donald Trump is 78 years old.

By chris page

Magazine editor, writer of fiction and non-fiction; exile; cat person; red wine for blood and cheese in his soul. Chris Page is the author of the novels Weed, Sanctioned, Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree. He is also a freelance journalist, copywriter, editor, cartoonist, illustrator, graphic designer, and consultant in the use and abuse of false moustaches (don’t wear them — you’re welcome — the invoice is in the mail).

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