Tue. Jul 16th, 2024

Sixteenth century French mystic Nostradamus was well known to be a football fan.

Recent research has revealed that he has predicted the results of the 2006 World Cup, right down to the scoreline — and he has been right every time.

Consider the following quatrain:

D’vn chef vieillard naistre sens hebeté
Degenerant par sçauoir & par armes,
Le chef de France par sa soeur redouté,
Champs diuisez, concedez aux gens gendarmes.

It can only mean Trinidad and Tobago 0, Sweden 0.

How about:

For forty years the rainbow will not appear;
For forty years it will be seen every day:
The arid earth will grow more dry,
And great floods when it will be seen.

Obviously this is England 1, Paraguay 0

Nostrodamus also wrote
In the 2006 Cup of the World
England will beat all they behold
And in the final at the end of the day
They’ll steal the cup all away.

Which clearly means that the competition will be won by Brazil. Or Germany. Or Spain, or someone like that.

Nostrodamus works for every major news service in the world.

By chris page

Magazine editor, writer of fiction and non-fiction; exile; cat person; red wine for blood and cheese in his soul. Chris Page is the author of the novels Weed, Sanctioned, Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree. He is also a freelance journalist, copywriter, editor, cartoonist, illustrator, graphic designer, and consultant in the use and abuse of false moustaches (don’t wear them — you’re welcome — the invoice is in the mail).

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