Sun. Jul 14th, 2024

As Israeli warplanes batter Lebanon and the army gathers on the border ready to invade, thousands are leaving the country. Ships from several countries are lining up in Lebanese waters to pluck compatriots from the beaches and docks.

US citizens, however, are asked to sign a form stating that they will repay the cost of their evacuation. The sum is unspecified, but the penalties for default are clear — you will be unable to use your passport.

In other news from the crisis, George Bush (wannabe president of the US) has said that Syria is obviously trying to get back into Lebanon … Bush is seemingly oblivious to the fact that it is Israeli, not Syrian warplanes that are bombing the place into rubble. But then he never was too good on geography or world affairs.

Israel’s Ehud Olmert has complained that Hezbollah’s raid into Israel that precipitated the current crisis was designed to distract the current G8 summit from discussion of Iran’s nuclear ambitions — an outcome that was guaranteed by, er, Olmert’s sledgehammer response to the raid — which incidentally has so far left 300 Lebanese civilians dead.

By chris page

Magazine editor, writer of fiction and non-fiction; exile; cat person; red wine for blood and cheese in his soul. Chris Page is the author of the novels Weed, Sanctioned, Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree. He is also a freelance journalist, copywriter, editor, cartoonist, illustrator, graphic designer, and consultant in the use and abuse of false moustaches (don’t wear them — you’re welcome — the invoice is in the mail).

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