ICE spends $20 million dollars on electric shock gloves
After DHS buys $20 million of electric shock gloves, Psipook asks ICE agents: On a scale of one to my-eyes-pop-out-of-my-head, how is your experience of masturbating with electric shock gloves?…
US warns Russia not to attack Nato
This week the head of the CIA flew to Russia with a stern warning. John Ratcliffe told Vladimir Putin, “Look here, you’d better not attack Nato, ‘cos we’ve blown our…
Please, sir, can we have our football back?
An oil monopoly, a hydration break, an authoritarian regime or two, a sweary walrus, a murder — where’s our football gone? I am old enough and quaint enough to remember…
That trillionaire in numbers
On June 12, 2026, SpaceX landed on planet Nasdaq under the ticker SPCX, completing the largest IPO in history. The market response immediately pushed Elon Musk’s estimated net worth past…
Masturbation among birds is ‘natural’ and should not be punished
FCA’s Palantir deal could expose UK financial data to Trump’s UK, critics fear, but masturbation among birds is ‘natural’ and should not be punished, say experts. Macron says French navy…
Bollocks while the world burns
A snapshot—or screen grab—of the times we live in from today’s Guardian. On the left, a report on extreme heat events and deaths around the world caused by climate change…
From Nanny State to Ninny State
Never mind the quality of the benevolent concern, just feel the width of the legislation! HMG is banning cigarettes for anyone born after 2008. Another stupid idea chugged out of…
Melania Trump in surprise cookie denial
Today at a surprise press conference, Melania Trump denied taking any cookies from the cookie jar. ‘I did not take any cookies from the cookie jar,’ she told assembled journalists.…
The long arm of the absurd law
Oops! I’ve been criminalised in the UK while living in Japan Hi, my name’s Chris, and I am criminal. I am a British national, I live in Japan yet I…
The naked war
I’m old enough to remember when we had reasons for wars. No, really, it used to be a thing: having reasons for wars. There was even a legal term for…