Mon. Jun 24th, 2024

Following the murder of yet another hostage in Iraq, Psilocybe P Pook (No Relation) has hit on a wizard wheeze to hasten the end of the US occupation he has been railing against for so long.

The plan is to recruit hordes of hostages direct from Europe and the United States.

They will be shipped directly to the Iraqi resistance for immediate decapitation.

We will take anyone, but family people, the young and the crippled or vulnerable will be preferred. Each will be supplied with an ultra-sharp halal blade for use in decapitation to save the resistance getting sore arms sharpening knives.

As the dead hostages pile up, the Western governments and people — especially the people who opposed the war — will see quite clearly how civilised are the folk resisting the occupation, and how deserving they are of our support. No doubt the Marines will hang their heads in shame, acknowledging the moral superiority of their foes and go home and George Bush will retire to a hermitage to figure out where he went wrong.

By chris page

Magazine editor, writer of fiction and non-fiction; exile; cat person; red wine for blood and cheese in his soul. Chris Page is the author of the novels Weed, Sanctioned, Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree. He is also a freelance journalist, copywriter, editor, cartoonist, illustrator, graphic designer, and consultant in the use and abuse of false moustaches (don’t wear them — you’re welcome — the invoice is in the mail).

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