Mon. Jun 24th, 2024

Toffs and nobs are standing up to fight for the right to massacre small, furry animals.

The British government’s attempt to outlaw traditional fox hunting makes a thoroughly embarrassing and depressing tale.

Firstly, with the ban going into effect on February 18th, hundreds of thousands are set to break the law on the 19th at hunts arranged the length and breadth of the country.

These good people could be mobilising to force the government to do something real about global warming, or to protest our illegal occupation of Iraq; they could be lobbying the government to alleviate unfair third world debt or doing something to ensure that our government commit more funds to fighting AIDS in Africa; they could be mowing the lawns of infirm old folk or helping hedgehogs across the road. They could be doing something real and worthwhile.

No, they choose to mobilise to defend their perceived right to kill animals for fun.

Killing for fun is a right? OK, so why don’t we bring back bear bating, cock and dog fighting and other cruel sports that have been banned in the past?

Moreover — and I am making an assumption here — I believe that these conservative rural folk who are often very vocal in issues of law and order, would be the first to condemn civil disobedience and violence — yet this is what they themselves are planning. There has been dark talk of civil unrest and we are reminded of the ‘rivers of blood‘ comments made exactly three years ago when Scotland banned fox hunting. It would be very interesting to find out how they square this without coming off like screaming hypocrites.

The government are not coming off any better. They have a crafted legislation that is nigh on unenforceable because many of the rural police officers are, funnily enough, pro hunting and seem quite happy to put personal preference before duty and the law.

Worst of all, Blair and company while saving the lives of dumb animals at home are collaborating in the murder of innocent human beings in the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq. 

As for Psylocybe P Pook’s position on hunting? He is all for it. He would love to see the pro-hunting conservatives and New Labourites chased over hill and dale by demented hounds until they saw sense, thus ridding the country of two kinds of pest in one go.

By chris page

Magazine editor, writer of fiction and non-fiction; exile; cat person; red wine for blood and cheese in his soul. Chris Page is the author of the novels Weed, Sanctioned, Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree. He is also a freelance journalist, copywriter, editor, cartoonist, illustrator, graphic designer, and consultant in the use and abuse of false moustaches (don’t wear them — you’re welcome — the invoice is in the mail).

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