Tue. May 28th, 2024

Following the shock photos of Sadman Hussein in his Y-fronts, underpants have been flying out of closets all round the world.

Not to be out done by his alter-ego in Baghdad, George Bush held a press conference in his underpants. He later appeared at an official function in a spare pair of Saddam’s underpants.

“These are liberated underpants,” he told a packed audience, some of whom may have been wearing something under their tuxedos.

“The fact that I can stand before you today in a pair of liberated, ex-tyranical underpants demonstrates this great nation’s love of liberating underpants. Wherever there are underpants living in darkness, you will find us invading.”

The UK was rocked by revelations that Tory Blair had been in everyone’s underpants at one time or another. Sometimes more than one pair at a time.
A leaky underpants report from the CIA revealed that the agency was working on a pair of exploding underpants to infiltrate into Osama bin Laden’s trousers.

Ayatollah Thingywotsisname of Iran declared a fatwah on underpants.

Hugh Hefalump of the porn magazine Playwithyourselfboy has reportedly offered Saddam millions of dollars to appear as a centrefold.

Graham Dudinthewaterman, the mismanaging editor of the Sun, the paper that published the first underpants pictures, told reporters “The fact that Saddam is wearing underpants demonstrates what a threat he is to humanity in general. I mean, it proves what we have been saying all along, which is Saddam is like Hitler, Pol Pot, cancer, Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun, smallpox, Mao, Ebola virus, Stalin and George Bush all rolled into one. It shows the Sun was right to invade Iraq, if only to put a stop to these underpants.”

Just about teatime Donald Rumsfeld was seen with a pair of underpants on his head sparking intense speculation that he may have a pair of underpants on his head.

Saddam meanwhile remained aloof, only moving to sue the manufacturers of his underpants for not providing them with Sunblock.

By chris page

Magazine editor, writer of fiction and non-fiction; exile; cat person; red wine for blood and cheese in his soul. Chris Page is the author of the novels Weed, Sanctioned, Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree. He is also a freelance journalist, copywriter, editor, cartoonist, illustrator, graphic designer, and consultant in the use and abuse of false moustaches (don’t wear them — you’re welcome — the invoice is in the mail).

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