Sat. Jun 15th, 2024

Canadian sealers have been stranded by unusual pack ice conditions.

About 100 boats carrying fishermen conducting the cull of 270,000 seals off Newfoundland’s coast have been trapped by ice.

Some are running out of food and fuel and the bad conditions are set to continue.

The annual seal cull, the fishermen say, is necessary to preserve fish stocks ensuring a supply of McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish and Kit-e-Kat (or was that KitKat?). The seal pelts are used to insulate frozen Norse totty and the oil from the seal blubber is used to, er … power incubators in hospitals or something terribly crucial like that.

Well, the stranded sealers can always club each other to keep their spirits up.

By chris page

Magazine editor, writer of fiction and non-fiction; exile; cat person; red wine for blood and cheese in his soul. Chris Page is the author of the novels Weed, Sanctioned, Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree. He is also a freelance journalist, copywriter, editor, cartoonist, illustrator, graphic designer, and consultant in the use and abuse of false moustaches (don’t wear them — you’re welcome — the invoice is in the mail).

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