Sat. Mar 2nd, 2024

The board of education of Texas (which is in the USA) has adopted a politicised school curriculum on the model of the Soviet Union, communist China, Nazi Germany or North Korea.

The change is intended to correct a perceived liberal bias in education by imposing an overt right wing one.

The governor of Texas
Dear Leader, the governor of Texas

Under the new curriculum, kids are to be taught that the UN is a threat to freedom, that laissez faire capitalism is the Word of the Dear Leader (God) and taxation causes cancer.

Thomas Jefferson has been airbrushed out of history and children will hear how the founding fathers didn’t really intend a separation of church and state and that any statement to that effect in the constitution is merely a typing error.

Any teachers failing to inculcate the precepts of the new curriculum, titled USA Uber Alles, will be sent to a gulag — there are vacancies at Guantanamo.

Kids will also be taught that burgers are the ultimate health food, Fox News is the Word of God, and that the world is flat.

Furthermore … what’s that thumping on my door?

By chris page

Magazine editor, writer of fiction and non-fiction; exile; cat person; red wine for blood and cheese in his soul. Chris Page is the author of the novels Weed, Sanctioned, Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree. He is also a freelance journalist, copywriter, editor, cartoonist, illustrator, graphic designer, and consultant in the use and abuse of false moustaches (don’t wear them — you’re welcome — the invoice is in the mail).

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