Sun. Jul 14th, 2024

Poor old David Cameron. It seems that no one is happy with him. The Archbishop of Canterbury has claimed no one voted for his policies. Tory Blair won’t endorse them either. The military has spoken out against him. Nick Clegg has said, er, nothing. Now the biggest union of public workers has pledged war on his government. A lot of people have got it into their heads that David is simply out to shaft the country. But maybe they’ve got him wrong. Maybe he’s just an old fashioned hero, standing tall against the world. Hey, they write songs about people like this, don’t they.

Oh, here’s one now.

Theme of The Shaft

Who’s the privatizing dick

Who was no one’s policy pick?

The Shaft! Yah, gosh, right.

Who is the man who would risk your neck

For his old Etonian chums?

The Shaft! Can you dig a hole?

Who’s the chap who will cop out

and make u-turns all about?

The Shaft! Wrong again!

They say this numpty is a bad Thatcher.

You shut your public service!

But I’m talking ‘bout The Shaft!

Oh that’s OK, then, carry on.

He’s a simple man

Who digs the pigs?

Who shafts the pigs?

Shaft! He’s the pigs’ man!

But no one understands him, ’specially not Nick Clegg.

The Shaft

(with apologies to Isaac Hayes)

June 18, 2011

By chris page

Magazine editor, writer of fiction and non-fiction; exile; cat person; red wine for blood and cheese in his soul. Chris Page is the author of the novels Weed, Sanctioned, Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree. He is also a freelance journalist, copywriter, editor, cartoonist, illustrator, graphic designer, and consultant in the use and abuse of false moustaches (don’t wear them — you’re welcome — the invoice is in the mail).

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