Sun. Jul 14th, 2024

In a shock move, Denmark today outlawed Marmite.

The BBC reports that “outraged” UK expatriates are planning “civil disobedience” in response.

Psipook can exclusively reveal after an exhaustive undercover cup of tea the form of these protests.

Activists will:

  • stage a sit down protest on the shop shelves where the Marmite used to be
  • chain themselves to the toaster at breakfast time
  • armed with Marmalite rifles, storm parliament, slaughter the legislators and humiliate the civil servants by forcing them to parade through the streets smeared in Marmite and feathers.

By chris page

Magazine editor, writer of fiction and non-fiction; exile; cat person; red wine for blood and cheese in his soul. Chris Page is the author of the novels Weed, Sanctioned, Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree. He is also a freelance journalist, copywriter, editor, cartoonist, illustrator, graphic designer, and consultant in the use and abuse of false moustaches (don’t wear them — you’re welcome — the invoice is in the mail).

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