Sun. Jul 14th, 2024
Palestinian mourners wonder where Biden's red line might be

Sources say Biden claims he had it here before, must be somewhere.

‘If Benjamin Netanyahu crosses my red line by killing more women and children I’ll have to tell him to stop,’ said “President” Biden in no uncertain terms, every day since October 7th, 2023. 

Biden can’t remember where he left his red line

But as the bombs rained down on Gaza, Biden added ‘If I can find the damn thing. Someone seems to have moved it again. And again, and again, and again.’

Sources close to the president claim that Mr Netanyahu, a prime minister of Israel, is mischievously moving the red line himself by killing women and children in Gaza. 

Our source explained, ‘Every time those bombs go down on Gaza and kids are blown to smithereens, that red line mysteriously slithers away from Mr Biden. It’s quite hilarious to watch once you’ve wiped the sprays of blood off your spectacles. You can actually see Bibi at one end tugging it and laughing.’

I stole his red line and he can’t do anything about it!

Mr Biden is 81 years old and Mr Netanyahu is as old and banal as evil itself. 

By chris page

Magazine editor, writer of fiction and non-fiction; exile; cat person; red wine for blood and cheese in his soul. Chris Page is the author of the novels Weed, Sanctioned, Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, King of the Undies World, and The Underpants Tree. He is also a freelance journalist, copywriter, editor, cartoonist, illustrator, graphic designer, and consultant in the use and abuse of false moustaches (don’t wear them — you’re welcome — the invoice is in the mail).

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